A couple of weeks ago I shared about the day we found out we were having boy/girl twins. We were so excited! But then the doctor put a damper on our excitement when he told us our little boy had something called Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia. Fast forward one week. We arrived at a special clinic for maternal fetal medicine where we had been referred in order to undergo an in-depth ultrasound. We had prayed all week and were hopeful that whatever issue they had observed would now be resolved. Were we ever in for a rude awakening!
After the ultrasound, we met with a doctor. She explained that CDH occurs when the diaphragm—the muscle that separates the chest from the abdomen—doesn’t close properly during prenatal development. The hole in the diaphragm allows the organs of the abdomen to migrate into the chest, which crowds out the lungs and impacts their growth and development. We learned that when a baby with severe CDH is born, they can’t breathe because the lungs are too small.
Then she dropped the bomb. “We would predict only a 25% survival rate.”
So there it was. The bleak outlook of our beloved boy for whom we have such hopes and dreams.
“Given the severity of the fetus’ condition,” she continued, “there are certain options that you may want to consider. You might like to consider having a reduction. We can refer you to the services you’d require today should you make that decision.”
I felt completely caught off guard, and like a deer caught in the headlights, I could barely think. We’d just been given a devastating diagnosis, which in and of itself was a lot to digest, and then without any time to process the situation, was this doctor really suggesting we abort our precious baby?
Mau, ever strong, came to my rescue and responded, “I see…Well, you need to know that a reduction, as you call it, is not an option for us. We choose life for our little boy and we will fight for his life. For as long as we can fight for his life, we will.”
I walked through the next hour in a numb haze of shock. The shock morphed into a profound sadness over the following few days as the reality of my son’s condition sunk in. Would we really lose him? Was he going to die? Where was God in the midst of all of this? Did God have a plan? How was He going to get us through this ordeal?
I had just experienced the trauma of prenatal diagnosis, a trauma I didn’t even recognize until several years later when the Lord began the process of healing my wounds. Though this diagnosis was heart wrenching, within a week I was able to start turning my fears and sadness over to the Lord, and He began to give me peace, a peace that came from knowing that God was with me and would carry me through the storm even though I didn’t know what the outcome would be.
One of the verses that I drew strength from is one you may know:
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)
This was just the beginning. I would need to come back to this verse again and again, reminding myself to trust in Him, to keep my eyes on Him and not on the seemingly impossible circumstances in front of me. And the Lord would sustain me and show that He is faithful, and that in Him there is hope in prenatal diagnosis.
If you have had a prenatal diagnosis or know someone who has, I encourage you to check out www.prenataldiagnosis.org. You are not alone--there are people who are ready and anxious to help. If you have been counselled to abort, please know that there are other options and you can take the time you need to make a decision. Please also feel free to reach out to me at christinrosa.writer@gmail.com.
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