Do you remember the theme song to the sitcom “Cheers” for those of us who are old enough? I was young when the show was on and all I remember is that the setting was a bar where a group of friends hung out. I do, however, remember the lyrics of that song:
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
your name.
Have you ever had a place you could go where you felt completely at home? Where you felt that you could just be yourself without fear of being judged? Where you
knew that the people there were happy to see you? A place where you belonged? I’m thankful to say that for the first two-thirds of my life, I have. I know the joy of feeling completely loved and accepted by my family, of having not one, but two best friends, of having an incredibly tight friend group, and of being a part of a thriving church where I loved to be.
For much of my married life, though, real belonging has remained an elusive and unfulfilled desire. I recently read a book in which one of the contributors described his experience of being on “the borderlands of belonging” for much of his life. I can relate. Short periods or beginnings of belonging have come and gone, and today I find myself once again on the fringes. Oh sure, I smile and chat with people at church, I exchange small talk with the neighbours, and I say hi and laugh with the other moms at school, but I don’t really belong anywhere—I can’t say that there’s a place I go where everybody knows my name and is always glad I came…
(Now please don’t stop reading here. Trust me—I’m not wallowing in depressive self-pity and hopelessness, and I’m coming to the part where I point you to hope and truth).
During this time of feeling somewhat untethered in regards to human connection and as I’ve been spending time with the Lord, He has been encouraging me through both His written Word and His whispered words of love.
Deuteronomy 31:8 says: “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” This verse gives me wonderful reassurance that even though my feelings may tell me that I’m kind of alone, I’m not because the Lord is with me. And even though I might be tempted to despair or complain or pout, I’m reminded that no matter where I’m at today or what tomorrow brings, my God will always be with me; because He loves me and because I belong to Him, He will not forsake me.
The Lord has also brought me back to two of my favourite verses:
“But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
(Jer. 17:7-8, italics mine)
The Lord, like the water for the tree, is my Source. When I’m connected to the Source and continually drawing from the depths of His love and mercy and grace, I can continue to bear fruit in my life as I serve Him even if I might be experiencing a “drought of belonging.”
Though I’m confident this “drought” will eventually end and that deep fellowship with others is part of the human nature that God has given us, I’m learning to lean on the Lord to be my all in all, my everything, in the good times and the bad. No matter what life brings, I can stand strong because He is my strength. I can stand strong in spirit until that day when I’ll finally reach my true home and see Jesus face-to-face. What a wonderful day that will be! The day when I’ll enter a place where everybody knows my name and they’re very glad I came; a place where I’ll finally, truly, belong.
I don’t know where you’re at in life. Maybe your cup is blissfully overflowing with supportive relationships or maybe it’s full of holes and you feel all alone, but may I encourage you to keep pressing forward no matter what you’re facing. Don’t give up—you’re here for a purpose and God has not abandoned you or given up on you. For a song that beautifully captures true belonging (and may bring you to tears), listen here:
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