Overwhelmed. Have you ever felt it? When your plate is not just full, but heaping precariously, threatening to topple at the slightest jostle as you do everything in your power to prevent it all from crashing down. I’ve been there. Not just for a day, a week, or a month, but for almost four long years. Have you been there? You’re not alone if you have.
I once came across a Bible study with encouragement for overwhelmed moms called something like “Overwhelmed by Our Blessings.” That title really resonated with me. We have prayed for the blessing of a child, sometimes for years, awaiting their arrival with hopeful anticipation. And then they're there in our arms—an answered prayer, a precious life, a joyful addition. We’re grateful and in awe, but as the daily reality of caring for a new child sinks in, we can find ourselves with a load difficult to handle. Then we add another one, two, or three kids and we quickly find ourselves completely overwhelmed by the most beloved people in our lives, stretched past limits we never even knew possible. To serve our children is an honour, but it's a sacrifice that requires all we have to give and more.
When Nate came home from the hospital after 10 weeks of fighting for his life, our gratitude to the Lord for saving his life were indescribable, but our fears were real. Our precious son came home to us in early June skinny after receiving only enough fluids for many weeks to keep him alive, and a floppy head having had no opportunity to develop and strengthen his muscles. For the first week he still required a feeding tube to receive formula and the several medications he required.
That first night minutes after walking through the door, I began plastering the kitchen wall with all of the information the hospital had sent home with us: schedule for administering medication, recipe for his special formula, phone numbers to call in case of an emergency, etc. I was a complete worked-up, stress-infused mess, so afraid that we wouldn’t be able to care for Nate properly. I then began the nightly ritual of washing, sterilizing, and
making 16 bottles of two different types of formula—one for Emma, one for Nate. I also began pumping the miniscule amount of breastmilk my body begrudgingly produced so that my babies could enjoy at least some minimal benefits for the next month (I had already been pumping at the hospital whenever I could, but ever since the overwhelming first couple of days after the twins’ birth, my milk supply almost dried up). When it was finally time to sleep, my husband, Mauricio, positioned Nate’s bassinet beside him so that he could check on him hourly during the night. Nate had always been hooked up to monitors, so this was the first time we couldn’t see exactly what his heart rate and oxygen saturation levels were at any given moment.
The summer that followed was both lovely and incredibly stressful. I’ll never forget the day soon after Nate came home as he sat in his infant chair watching big brother Thomas dancing exuberantly in front of him. Nate, emaciated and pale, was laughing a huge belly laugh, eyes sparkling with sheer joy at the antics of his brother. Or when Nate and Emma, twins separated for so long, could now lie side by side on their play mat or in the crib, at times holding hands, and interact with each other. What could be better? After the relative quiet of the NICU, Nate thrived in our ever-busy household with his siblings, parents, and grandparents.
While all three kids were happy and well-provided for, I was a twisted knot of frazzled nerves, worrying about making sure the twins ate and napped at the right time, trying to keep them on the same schedule, changing diaper after diaper, and doing my best to keep Thomas occupied without accidentally hurting his tiny brother and sister (more than once to my horror, before I could even see it coming, he jumped over Nate or Emma who were lying on a blanket on the living room floor, the only play area in our tiny house; thankfully he landed safely on the other side each time). And trying to get out of the house with all three was an exhausting ordeal each time. My goal and only goal for many months was to just try to keep everyone alive another day. I’d fall exhausted into bed, wake up the next day never fully rested, and do it all over again, day after day with no break.
But I really can’t complain though—I have so much to be thankful for. The Lord took care of my family and I by bringing my parents to our city a couple of months before the twins were born. We couldn’t have made it without them! After supporting us in innumerable ways while Nate was in the hospital, they continued to keep us afloat after he came home. They came over every day and kept our household running by doing the laundry, making meals, helping with the babies, spending time with Thomas, doing chores—the list goes on and on. And then Mauricio’s parents visited in July, so we had yet another set of grandparents to dote on the kids and help out.
The summer concluded triumphantly when the Children’s Hospital called asking if they could feature Nate in their upcoming quarterly hospital foundation publication. Of course, we agreed. I took some pictures of my little guy, all dressed up in plaid shirt and jeans, on his belly and propped up on his elbows with head held high by strong neck muscles. His face had begun to fill out and now sported the chubby cheeks characteristic of a baby and newly-grown hair adorned his head. Gone was the appearance of a wizened old man replaced with the smiling, adorable face of a five-month-old boy.
Despite the day-to-day worries, the Lord gave me strength to make it through each day, largely through the tangible, incredible, support of grandparents and Mauricio when he was around. As I took care of my children, and He took care of me. I was overwhelmed, yes, but I was not alone, and no matter what your circumstances, neither are you. If you’re in need today, I encourage you to cry out to the God of the universe. He is not a distant god, no. He is near, He hears you and He longs for you to draw near to Him. He loves you with an everlasting love and can be trusted. May these words encourage you today:
Psalm 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.
Have you ever been overwhelmed by your blessings? What helped you get through? Let me know in the comments.
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